My Little Miracle

Lets talk about a birth story, not any birth story, my sons birth story. Now this may be nothing to you guys, just another mum who writes about her baby, but to me it’s everything. It’s the story on how my life changed forever, the story that I’ll never forget and the one I’ll never get bored of telling.

It all started with a ‘strange lump’ in the right side of my tummy, a lump that I never expected to be a baby, but we will get into that another time. After all the tests and scans it was confirmed, I was going to be a mummy!. I was 18 weeks when I found out so that’s basically half my time already done.

Lets start with my very first scan. I was a nervous wreck, sitting in the waiting room, shaking, crying and having no idea on what was happening. I got called in after what felt like an eternity. Laid down, the sonographer was trying to make conversation and I was just there silent. There was silence for ages, I could hear him and the assistant whispering and him pushing harder on my belly, that’s when I really started to panic. Not only did I just find out I was pregnant an hour ago but now there’s something wrong. The sonographer asked if anyone had ever told me I had a bicornuate uterus, he then went on to explain to me that’s why he was confused at first and it was nothing to panic about. For those of you who don’t know what a bicornuate uterus is it’s when instead of a normal uterus resembling an upside down pear mine resembles a heart shape, I had a septum down the middle but it was not a full septate uterus.

I googled it all the time and read all the horror stories (yes, I admit I Dr google a lot). I was told at all my appointments that it was nothing to worry about and to stop going on the internet. I had a feeling that they weren’t keeping an eye on it as much as they should so I kept asking and questioning it at every midwife visit and always got the same answer, ‘stop stressing’. I came to 29 weeks and decided I wanted another scan, I needed another scan, my midwife said I wouldn’t get anymore ultrasounds unless it was a private one that I paid for. That afternoon I booked myself in.

Again I was back in that waiting room impatient to see my baby. In I went and had the ultrasound, he came back with a few things from it. First was there was not a lot of fluid around him, because of the shape of my uterus bubs was in one side and that pushed all the fluid to the other side, he had a really long cord, and by the looks of things he was stuck in the left side of my uterus. I took this information back to my midwife and she said the same as usual, ‘it’ll be fine’. My mum and her friend were at the appointment with me and pushed the midwife to get me another medical scan where they look more into details. Finally at 34 weeks I was sent for a check-up ultrasound.

The following day I got a call from my midwife saying I needed to get to the hospital as soon as I could because the baby was really small, had very little fluid and he was transverse, I needed to have daily check ups and weekly scans. The first scan I went to I was sent straight to the labour ward, I arrived there and was put on to a CTG. They informed me that I would be having a C-section first thing in the morning. I had my steroid shots and was sent up to the maternity ward. I was up there for all of 30 minutes before I was back down on a CTG because I had an ‘off feeling’. Luckily I asked to be monitored again because we discovered my boys heartbeat kept stopping. I never knew how strong a mothers love could be for a child before she has even laid eyes on them, but as soon as his heartbeat stopped mine raced, I panicked and was calling for someone to help. I was put in for an emergency C-section as soon as surgeons were available.

Here I was, scared, nervous and a mess, waiting to be cut open. I knew what to expect with a C-section because I YouTubed a hundred of them. The surgery, needles, being numb and my baby, I still couldn’t believe that I’d be holding my baby soon. Never had I been so anxious in my life. In came the nurse and inserted the catheter , that’s when it started. Being wheeled around the hospital I couldn’t stop shaking, all I remember is the shaking, my jaw was sore from it, my muscles were aching. I just wanted it to stop, I tried so hard.

The lights were bright in that room, there was a team of Drs and nurses awaiting me. I felt nauseous and short of breath. Again the shaking, the nurse was trying to get me stop so she could put the spinal block in the precise place. My leg jumped, I was told that was a good thing, it means it is in the right spot. My face started tingling and I couldn’t move my toes, I felt as if I was deprived of air, probably because I was so afraid of everything at that moment, I felt as if nothing was going right.

Questioning the Dr I asked when my baby will be out and to my surprise he answered that he was almost here. I felt a wave of relief blanket over me, all of a sudden I was excited. I heard a little cry and man nothing in this world can ever describe what you feel when you hear your child’s cry for the first time, I couldn’t stop smiling. I hadn’t seen him yet but I could hear him and that was enough for me. After he was checked over his head was placed next to mine and it was perfect, he was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen, I stroked his cheek and gasped in awe. There he was finally, all 4lbs of him. I couldn’t speak.

I named him Rialyn, he was taken down to nursery and I was getting stitched up and placed in the waiting room until I got feeling back. There the shaking started again. Two hours it took for feeling to return and the shaking to stop. I was wheeled down to the NICU and there my sweet boy was put on top of my chest to try and have his first breastfeed, he would not latch properly after numerous attempts of trying, they took him away to set up a feeding tube and started to take me back up to the ward, all of a sudden the feeling around my wound returned and it was excruciating, it felt like my abdomen was on fire. I started tearing up, holding my breath and squeezing the sides of the bed, it felt like hours before I was up in the room, there I was given a standard pain killer. I waited an hour and still was crying in pain so I was given something stronger, the only thing that stopped this pain was when I finally fell asleep.

It took a week to get out of the hospital and get home but the rest of my hospital stay and the events that occurred will be put in another post or else this would be way to long. Now I know most of you will not find this very interesting but I thought I’d tell my story and educate pregnant ladies and anyone actually to trust your gut feeling regardless of what you get told and never let anyone tell you you’re being dramatic or overthinking. Its better to be safe than sorry, if it wasn’t for following my gut feeling my son might have not made it here today.

Vada xx

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